The Price of Being a Malfoy
by debzzz
Summary: Her little boy...How she wished she could kiss him, how she wished she could say 'I love you', how she wished she was allowed to do so. Narcissa POV, one-shot. Written for Gaby Black's Back to School Challenge.


**A/N: **Okay, this is an one-shot about Draco leaving for Hogwarts. It's not much, but the idea came to me and I really couldn't resist posting it. Inspiration came thanks to **Gaby Black**'s _**Back to School Challenge**_!!

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She was standing on the Platform nine and three quarters as she had done so many times in the past. But that was so many years ago and now she was here, yet once again, for a different reason this time. September the first: The day she had been dreading for almost three months, specifically since the fifth of June: the day her son had turned eleven and had recieved his letter inviting him to Hogwarts.

She should be proud, she knew that. Her son had demonstrated a fair bit of his powers the past years. She should be proud. He would get to learn how to use these powers as so many of their ancestors had done before him. She should be proud. He'd make friends-well, _more_ friends than he already had. She really should be proud. And deep down she probably was. But sorrow was the strongest emotion right now. Because her son, her little boy was going away.

He looked rather happy and proud and smug. Maybe a bit more smug than anything else. He was looking aroud searching for his friends that would be joining him this year to Hogwarts, not in the least bit aware of his mother's inner turmoil...besides, that's the way it was supposed to be.

She remembered the day her parents announced to her that they were planning on alling their family with the Malfoys. Her engagement to Malfoy Jr had not been a surprise. Actually she had felt quite content with the arrangement. She really liked the young Malfoy heir: he was quite good-looking, very pleasant in conversation and self-confident. He was smart and elegant. In other words, everything a young pureblood witch, like her, could have asked. And she remembered giggling at the thought that, at least their child's hair colour would be no surprise to anyone.

And now, as she looked at her son's fair hair couldn't help but compare him to his father. Their uncanny resemblance was hard to miss. And it seemed that his character would probably develop to be more like his father's than hers. She reminded herself that, of course, that was not a sad thing. She was happy in her marriage. Her husband had never given her any reason to be angry with him or sad because of him. She just wished...sometimes, she just wished he was a bit more...human. She cringed internally as soon as she had made that thought. No, her husband was not really cruel, just too formal, even to his own family. She wished that their upbringing allowed her to hold her son tightly in her arms, to kiss him goodbye...even let a tear run down her face. She wished she could whisper 'I love you' to him. But she knew that she never would.

What she did do, though, was to place both her hands on each side of his face, as the time came he had to board on the train, lean forward and say in an even and quite formal voice, "Take care".

"Yes, Mother", he replied to her and then turned to his father to say goodbye.

Her face never showed a grain of her true emotions. Her smooth features had long been perfectly expressionless. To anyone else but her husband she probably looked like she was being cold to her own son. That she didn't really think much of him leaving. There may was a hint of pride and smugness. She felt neither.

As the train started moving and her son's face briefly appeared behind a window, she took a few steps forward, before stopping short when she remembered just how many people were around. She waved her hand and whispered in a very low and quite broken voice "Goodbye Draco. I'll miss you." That much she allowed herself to reveal. That much the Malfoy (and even the Black) legacy allowed her to reveal.

Maybe, just maybe, later when she would be back in the Mansion she could cast a silencing spell in the bathroom. And maybe she would let her sorrow overtake her. Just maybe, for a few minutes, she would allow herself to feel free of the price she paid to be a Malfoy. A price that any other day she paid without any regret, that she paid with pride even. A price that today she wished she had never had to pay, because she hadn't missed the cold expression behind the smugness on Draco's face as he waved to his parents...An expression so much like his father's...

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So, yeah, this was from Narcissa's point of view as you've realised. I don't know why, but ever since the seventh book came out, Narcissa has been one of my favorite characters. I hope you liked it! Oh! it was not beta-ed so excuse me for any mistakes! Please review!


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